The main purpose of creating music is to express emotion. More so, project it. Although I have never been taught or trained to play an instrument (besides a quarantine fixation on ukulele), music has been more than just a pleasure to me. It heals, it hurts, it evokes curiosity and drama, and most importantly in the age of noise, it distracts.

It is not an unknown fact that music has been proven to boost serotonin and dopamine levels. The power music holds over an individual’s moods and mental health is highly misunderstood. Yes, playing an up beat song when happy and playing a depressing song when hurt will enhance that emotion.

However, using music to cope with emotions rides the fine line of complete distraction from being in touch with one self.

I’ve spent months of my life consecutively listening to slower, downhearted songs that have helped me relate to certain personal events and feelings, allowing me to express myself along with my favorite artists.

During those same months, I did not notice any improvements in my overall mood and found myself in an unchanging frame of mind. I don’t regret listening to artists like Phoebe Bridgers and Frank Ocean. In fact, I have found great contentment analyzing their records. Still, the albums I continuously listened to consumed me, whether they were heartbreaking or optimistic or in the middle.

Yet, all the songs that play for those in-between feelings are overlooked for the purpose of pure distraction. Only more recently have I come to the realization that I have been in practice of depending on music to motivate myself into doing chores or homework and anything in between.

I understand now that this is a horrible habit to have formulated, but I also understand that this is a reality for not just me, but my entire generation and beyond.

I have created at least 22 playlists that I actively listen to on the daily, including one that I have made specifically for moments where I need the motivation to do simple things such as getting dressed or picking up clutter in my room.

It’s a contradictory thing for me to break away from the temptations of social media by wasting not a minute switching to that one playlist that allows me to live my life.