Dear Rere,

To say I miss you wouldn’t begin to describe my emotion. It’s unfair, however, how much I miss you when you are only a three hour and 28 minute car ride away. You’re only at college, I still saw you on family weekend, and your fall break, and at thanksgiving and winter break. It feels unfair to say I miss you when you are still in the same state as me. But I do. I miss you driving me around. I miss our coffee excursions where I teased you for getting oatmilk. I miss you sneaking in my room and stealing clothes before I wake up. I miss your awful British accent and awful impressions of dad. I miss you because you have been my best friend for the past 17 years and I’m sad you don’t live down the hall from me anymore. And you never will again, not fully at least. Sure you’ll be there for breaks and visits, but the sense of permanence that was always there before is gone.

When we go out to restaurants, I still want to say there’s four instead of three. I still hang two towels instead of one in our bathroom. I hate that I have to text you a question instead of just shouting it out. If I want to go somewhere, you are not there to go with me. If I want to complain about people, or my day, or just school in general, I can’t force you to listen anymore.

Even since we were little, we have always been different: you get up early, I wake up late, you like sweet food, I like savory, you were more reserved, I held nothing back. We aren’t perfect, we bicker over the smallest things, we always have. I wasn’t afraid to disagree with you, mom takes it as us being nasty, but that’s not the case. We bicker because we were siblings and we disagree. It’s never anything personal, it’s little things like who gets to shower first or why are you wearing my shirt. Sometimes I have felt you have gotten away with being unfair to me just because you’re the older sibling.  However, I have always looked up to you. You are always so kind and considerate, you always do your best to make others feel comfortable and to treat everyone kindly and you act so selflessly. I will always think you are the nicest person I know. You always helped me out when I needed you, and you did it expecting nothing in return from it. I can’t imagine how different my life would have been if you hadn’t been there, holding my hand whenever we experienced a bump in our road. 

We grew up together, each experience you had, I mirrored it a little bit later, except I had you to help me through it. Each lesson you learned, you would try to help me with- even though maybe I wouldn’t listen. You taught me to climb out of my crib, how to conquer the monkey bars, how to boogie board at the beach, how to know when to shut up before I made mom mad(still working on that one), and how to play barbies and dolls. 

I love you Rere and you will always be my favorite(and only!) sister and forever best friend. Wherever we end up going in our future, I hope you’ll always remain by my side no matter how many hours or miles separate us.

-Nanor