Who is the Perfect Candidate?


Clayton Register, Staff Writer

The 2016 election has been, to be honest, a freak show. The two least liked candidates in political history, coupled with outrageous scandals and accusations have made the American people leery of Clinton and Trump. The GOP has essentially been ripped in half because of Trump, and even the Speaker of the House has taken a stance against The Don. Clinton’s emails and alleged involvement in her husband’s cover-ups haven’t made her the most loved politician either. Both the Green and Libertarian parties have candidates who, honestly, stand zero chance of being elected due to the lack of clout they carry and the experience they lack.

Ever heard of Aleppo, Mr. Johnson?

And Jill Stein? One August poll revealed that Harambe was polling ahead of her.

All this has political clamour and squabble has driven a hard divisive line in America, pitting one side against the other.

Right now, America would need a miracle to be united once more. One candidate to unite the parties and the people they represent; the Perfect Candidate.

The Perfect Candidate would have the looks of a Kennedy and the quiet power that could only belong to our first Commander in Chief, General George Washington. The perfect candidate would need Lincoln’s imposing stature, both physical and mental, that once closed the rift in our country that secession and slavery created. The personality of the perfect candidate would be that of Ronald Reagan, a jocular man well loved by the American people. Their fortitude would be that of Eisenhower, tempered by the calm thoughtfulness of Obama. Their attitude toward foreign policy would be that of Roosevelt and his big stick.

There is no perfect candidate that we could have today, without some serious revolutions in genetic engineering. The truth is, there has never been a perfect candidate, nor will there be. Each president and presidential hopeful has had their flaws, some more than others, but each one has brought their character to the White House with them. From Washington to Obama, each president, popular or not, has watched over this country, as is their solemn duty. Whether the American people choose the Orange Baboon or the Grey Lady this election, our country will survive. We can wish all we want for the perfect choice, but we’ll never find it. For now, we’re stuck with a walking pantsuit and a bedazzled corn husk; it’s up to you to decide which candidate will lead our nation in the coming years.